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DEAR HARRIETTE: I think that my boyfriend might be a colorist. The other day I asked him what he likes about me, and one of the things that he named was my “light complexion.” (We are both African American.)

This immediately raised a red flag. I always assumed that he liked me for me, not my skin tone. I also don’t like the fact that perhaps if I were a few shades darker, he would not have been interested in me. I don’t think that skin tone ever should have been a factor in his mind.

I can’t look at him the same after this revelation. Would I be overreacting if I ended the relationship over this?

Dating a Colorist

DEAR DATING A COLORIST: We all have preferences. It isn’t innately wrong for your boyfriend to be attracted to you because of how you look.

You probably like him, at least in part, because of how he looks. So, yes, it would be overreacting to end your relationship for that reason.

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