DEAR HARRIETTE: I found out that I was pregnant about three months ago. This will be my first child, and I’m extremely happy about it.
I’ve told a few immediate family members and my very best friends about my pregnancy, but for some reason, I’m feeling embarrassed about telling anyone outside of that.
I’m not sure what exactly I’m feeling embarrassed about. I think it might be the fact that I’m not married or in a relationship with the person I am having a baby with. How do I get over this feeling?
DEAR EXPECTING: It is understandable that you are feeling a bit uneasy, given that you seem to subscribe to traditional family values that call for a woman to be married before having a child. Since that is not your story now, you have to let go of that narrative.
The blessing is that you are pregnant and have decided to have this child. Next steps for you should include creating your village of family, friends and loved ones who will want to help you in whatever ways you need. Rearing a child on your own will be challenging. You will need all kinds of help.
It’s best to let your people know your situation. Then you can figure out over the next few months who you believe will be there for you.
As you get closer to birth, get more specific. Invite interested friends to help you in particular ways. Trust that this will prove invaluable when you are learning how to care for your baby while working and dealing with life.
How you get over the shame is by getting to work on a plan to care for your baby. Replace the shame with action.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a subscriber to a couple of beauty boxes for the past few years. What I realized the other day is that I have way too many beauty products, and most of them are unopened.
I was thinking of hosting a beauty sale to help clean out my house and make a few dollars. It would be like a yard sale, but with beauty stuff only. I wouldn’t sell anything that has already been opened, of course.
My boyfriend thinks this is a silly idea and that nobody will come. What do you think?
— Beauty Sale
DEAR BEAUTY SALE: Take a poll among your friends in your community and at work. Get a sense of who might be interested in picking up a few beauty items at a discount.
For it to work, your prices need to be low. Create a fun event where folks gather, talk and shop. You can serve light refreshments to help make it more festive. And play up the low prices. In your promotion, make it clear that they are never-used, unopened beauty products at a deep discount.
Ask your friends to invite their friends. If the event doesn’t appeal to your boyfriend, by the way, don’t force him to come. Welcome the people who will appreciate it.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)