Dear Amy: My spouse and I have been together our whole adult lives – ever since high school.

Over the years, he has hurt me in different ways, big and small.

He thinks that I have not forgiven him for these harms because if, in conversation, he brings one of them up, I am not emotionally neutral.

Sometimes, I will get tearful or sometimes I will try to explain again why there was harm to begin with – because he still doesn’t seem to get it.

He says that if I really forgave him, there should no longer be any sensitivity to reflecting on all this stuff.

I say that I have forgiven, but I have not forgotten the hurts.


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